Answers to your questions...

Have you tried Vegemite?
Yes, it's gross. It tastes like butt.

Are you getting used to the accent?
There are so many accents here, it's not much of an issue. I have been told that I do not have an American accent, or rather, that it's not American enough. I think that some people are expecting either a stereotypical New York thing, "You lookin at me?" or a stereotypical California thing, "Like, totally, we are going to the beach!" Beats me. I've been asked many times if I'm Canadian, cause there are a lot of Canadians here and they are offended, apparently, when you ask if they're American. I've also been asked if I'm Irish.

Are you in any danger of the bushfires?
No.

How's the weather? I heard it's hot.
Today is supposed to be really hot, in the 90s I think, but I LOVE this. I HATE the cold. HATE IT. However, you know that weather thing in the midwest: "If you don't like the weather, just wait 5 minutes?" I think Melbourne puts us to shame. The temperature routinely changes at least 30 degrees from the time I leave in the morning (8-9) to mid-day temps.

How's the food?
-Here are some things that are good: sushi, or basically any Asian food, wine, beer, cheese, fresh veg.s and fruits, and coffee (see below).
-Here are some things that are not so good: Mexican food (all GROSS), bagels (just sort of crap), and I've heard that pizza is bad, but I find it hard to believe since there are so many Italians here.
-Here are some things that I've tried that are different: cheese, all bread products, lentils (really small), butter, pastries, coffee (see below)

How's the coffee?
Just like in every non-U.S. country, coffee is different. Melbournians(?) are known as coffee snobs. Basically, you can't get American coffee at a coffee shop, but my roommate makes American-type coffee in the morning, and it's very tasty. However, she says that drinking that type of coffee, or rather, paying for that type of coffee is unheard of for Melbourne residents. They consider it swill. They figure if you're gonna pay for coffee, you should get something special. So you can get lattes and cappuccinos and things at coffee shops. And they're really good. I've also tried a "flat white" which is very similar to a latte, but the milk isn't foamy (but still steamed). Once I had a "long black" which is an espresso with water added to it (although to me it was just like a MEGA espresso and I felt gross the rest of the day). And, if you order a coffee drink, they'll add the sugar to it for you, and do it well. I've also made some Greek coffee on the stove a couple of times.

Are you enjoying yourself? Are you making friends?
-Yes, I am enjoying myself. For one, I've been sleeping 8-10 hours every night and that is SWEET. I've been reading a lot and have time on my hands. Some days I'm not sure what to do with myself. I can't remember a time when I was this un-busy. Unfortunately, this un-busyness will end soon, but that's cool. In my free-time, I keep adding things to my schedule. Habit, I guess. I'm also thinking of going to the beach this weekend. And maybe starting a yoga class. Greek class starts on March 11th.
-Yes, I am making friends. Tuesday I went to a movie with my flatmates. Wednesday I hung out with my new classmates. Saturday I'm going to hang out with some vegans (and pretend that I am vegan). Maybe I'll keep a running tally of my friend count as this seems to be the most asked question. I began to worry that I should be actively making friends, maybe handing out fliers saying, "Will you be my friend?"

Keep 'em coming!

book report

Dear Readers,

I wanted to load up a bunch of my pictures of "American" places in Melbourne and call the blog, USA! USA! USA, but it'll have to wait. I'm having moderate to difficult issues with technology access and it looks like I will have to live with them for the time being.

So today you get a "What-Stacey-has-read-in-Australia" book report! Woo-hoo! I imagine my book report skills will be at the level I left them in 8th grade.

ESCAPE! by Carolyn Jessop

While waiting at O'Hare, I needed something to read: something completely removed from my life, and not directly depressing or too scary as I was about to spend 14 hours on a plane. So what else? - A book about MORMONS!

Carolyn Jessop is an ESCAPED Mormon, from the FDLS sect specifically, you know, the extra-crazy ones that still practice polygamy and are trying to replenish the world with three-legged inbred psycho Christians.

Okay, that's a little harsh, but the story was pretty messed up - These woman are constantly physically and mentally abused not just by their husbands, but by their children, their fellow wives and the people in their community. They are taught to fear the outside world and feel a sense of superiority over the rest of the human race. Any sense of doubt about their lives is a questioning of God and threatens their divine place in heaven. I think that's being exceedingly generous. These people are kooks! Secret underwear? 58 children? Disabilities are a punishment from God? POLYGAMY???

Anyways, it made me feel better about my place in the world, for sure. Bring on the evil, monogamous relationships and freedom to go to school. If the Mormons win, I'm going to come back as a rock as punishment for all this damn education.

JPOD by Douglas Coupland

Coupland is one of my favorite authors and I guess is a sort of pop-culture, Gen-X sort of writer, although JPOD is about people my age (and I was born in that lame couple of years when no one was having kids - too young for GenX, too old for GenY) and I suspect that he may even be, GASP!, a baby boomer. Anyways, he writes about the current times really well. JPOD is very similar to Microserfs, the first Coupland book I read, although Microserfs is definitely about 90s boom, computer nerds, where JPOD is about computer nerds in the new millenium. Lots of pop-culture references, even if they reference nothing, lots of great writing, and oozing with fast-paces, creative jargon.

There's the story, of course, but the book also mingles in a lot of SPAM writing,you know, the stuff we see daily like Actually, the wikipedia article seems to do it better than me. Just read that: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JPod

SLOW MAN by J.M. Coetzee

I decided that since I'm in Australia, I should read some Australian fiction. I started with the "2003 winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature."

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I HATED THIS BOOK. The premise is a 60-year old man who recently loses his leg, becoming an amputee. He then falls in love with his 40 something, Croatian nurse, who is married with 3 beautiful children. He is also harassed by an author that waltzes into his life, Elizabeth Costello. This brief intro sounded good to me, lots of intrigue, but no go on this one, folks.

Basically, I don't know what the hell to think of this book, but I have a couple of ideas of what the author wants me to think:

1) Life is slower as you age, and harder, and young people don't understand that, or respect it.

Not true, not fair, I've spent a lot of time with elderly people from weekends at the veterans home to afternoons with ex-piano teachers. I do my best to honor them and learn from them.

2) The young do not realize what they have until they are old.

Some don't. Some kids are gonna wake up at 60 and feel like their life is wasted. I'm trying to live my life by my rules, so stick it, Coetzee. Also, as my sister likes to point out, I already have the body of a 90 year old: everything cracks, I can't bowl, or play tennis, or shoot hoops, and my stomach always hurts. Of course, I will have a different view of things when I'm 60, particularly the way I view time, I'm sure. How long things take, how much time I have left, but I think about this stuff now, whatever.

3) It's not meant to teach lessons, but is just an "exemplary tale of suffering" as the book jacket says.

?!?! If I want exemplary tales of sufferings, I've got a facebook inbox full of people suffering worse than this made-up dude. Plus, he's rich.

HOW ETHICAL IS AUSTRALIA? by Peter Singer, with Tom Gregg. (not picture shown)

I just started this and it's pretty good, really good. Peter Singer is one of my favorite authors, AND, from Melbourne. So, I'll keep you posted. However, along the theme of USA! USA!, I can already confirm what I assumed: that although Australia sort of blows as a world citizen, the US can beat them every time. We always win - we're the worst! USA! USA!

Greetings/Tourists

Today a tutorial on Australian greetings/phrases I have encountered:

"Cheers" - sort of like goodbye, but with well wishes
"No worries" - "you're welcome," although it seems nicer
"Ta" - apparently "thank you" but I've only heard it, and always hear it, when I check books out at the VCA library
"Take away" - to go

I've yet to hear a "G'day mate," except from Americans writing to me, and then they write "Gooday mate!"

I think it's more a rural, or at least, non-Melbourne thing to say. Speaking of non-Melbournians...

My school is just past downtown and to get there, I get off the train or tram at the main centre of downtown and pass a bunch of touristy-type places like the bridge in the picture from the previous post, the "arts centre," and the National Gallery of Australia. This is a very pleasant walk, but I have noticed that the tourists jump out at you, not only with their more pronounced Australian accents (more of a drawl) but by their clothes.

There must be some sort of international tourism guidelines as the following characteristics seem to apply worldwide:

People in the city: stylish, attempt to look more vertical, tend to wear blacks, grays, or more subdued colors, walk purposefully while looking ahead or down

Tourists: not so stylish, have resigned to look more horizontal, tend to wear khaki shorts (I think this is the primary requirement), pastels, and big straw hats, walk haphazardly looking up and around and to someone, anyone for help

I have been asked for directions twice and was utterly unhelpful. I did help a woman validate her tram card, although it doesn't matter, because NO ONE validates their tram cards. I was pretty vigilant about it at first, but natives seemed to look at me like, "What? You think you're so great because you validate your tram card? Who do you think you are? No one's gonna check it."

Pictures2

Three pinkish pics of my new place and one of the Yarra River bridge I cross to get to school!

photos1

Above are some photos. I have no idea how to un-underline this. Photos include: a toilet, as promised, vegemite, this weird concert poster - who wants to go to see her if she''s crying already?, my new room, photo #1 and photo #2.

stories. observations.

Okay. Here are some Australian stories:

1) Three days ago I was at the University of Melbourne and this thing that looked like a opposum (sp?) and a raccoon leapt out of the recycling and into the garbage. This was around 11 a.m. and I figured it was some regular, Melbournian occurance (sp again?) but from the looks on everyone around me it wasn't. All I could think is that I didn't have my health insurance card yet.

2) Yesterday I went to a park to read. A family was walking by me and I noticed that the young girl with the family was lagging behind. I went back to my book. Soon, I realize that the girl is waiting for me to look back up and then proceeds to drag this giant branch she found along the concrete so it makes a loud scratching noise, but doesn't look at me. She stares in a different direction of me and the way she's walking. I find this hilarious, just as I find hilarious when I get on the bus and everyone, or anyone, looks up at me in utter disdane.

3) Today I was at one of those art! outside! in booths! things, you know, that's mostly crap, but as you get older, it seems like the crap is getting better. I walk past a mother and son and although I didn't hear what the son said, the mother replied, "I know something that's a waste of time, a computer is a waste of time!

Here are not stories so much as observations:

a) Globalization! 7-11! Subway! Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks. Target, even.
b) Although there are apparentely horrendous water shortages in Australia, I've only seen two examples of this: there are two settings for flushing the toilet (pic coming soon!) and I've only seen two drinking fountains in the entire city.
c) I woke up to three hot-air balloons in my window view and they made me happy.
d) Being an American is not enough of a prerequisite for me to be your friend.

first post

Dear readers,
I've decided to start a blog so I don't have to email so much and slow the process of the inflammation of my arm tendons, which is inevitable and boring.

I understand that this is probably more Stacey than you're used to "hearing" but the good thing about a blog is that you can ignore most of it and look at the pictures.

Here are some things about Stacey in Australia:
-I'm still a vegetarian.
-I still want to take off my bra as soon as I get home, but as I have lived with my roommates for only a week, I feel it necessary to leave it on for the time being, or at least until bedtime.
-I still fart.

New, same day post, soon.