book report

Dear Readers,

I wanted to load up a bunch of my pictures of "American" places in Melbourne and call the blog, USA! USA! USA, but it'll have to wait. I'm having moderate to difficult issues with technology access and it looks like I will have to live with them for the time being.

So today you get a "What-Stacey-has-read-in-Australia" book report! Woo-hoo! I imagine my book report skills will be at the level I left them in 8th grade.

ESCAPE! by Carolyn Jessop

While waiting at O'Hare, I needed something to read: something completely removed from my life, and not directly depressing or too scary as I was about to spend 14 hours on a plane. So what else? - A book about MORMONS!

Carolyn Jessop is an ESCAPED Mormon, from the FDLS sect specifically, you know, the extra-crazy ones that still practice polygamy and are trying to replenish the world with three-legged inbred psycho Christians.

Okay, that's a little harsh, but the story was pretty messed up - These woman are constantly physically and mentally abused not just by their husbands, but by their children, their fellow wives and the people in their community. They are taught to fear the outside world and feel a sense of superiority over the rest of the human race. Any sense of doubt about their lives is a questioning of God and threatens their divine place in heaven. I think that's being exceedingly generous. These people are kooks! Secret underwear? 58 children? Disabilities are a punishment from God? POLYGAMY???

Anyways, it made me feel better about my place in the world, for sure. Bring on the evil, monogamous relationships and freedom to go to school. If the Mormons win, I'm going to come back as a rock as punishment for all this damn education.

JPOD by Douglas Coupland

Coupland is one of my favorite authors and I guess is a sort of pop-culture, Gen-X sort of writer, although JPOD is about people my age (and I was born in that lame couple of years when no one was having kids - too young for GenX, too old for GenY) and I suspect that he may even be, GASP!, a baby boomer. Anyways, he writes about the current times really well. JPOD is very similar to Microserfs, the first Coupland book I read, although Microserfs is definitely about 90s boom, computer nerds, where JPOD is about computer nerds in the new millenium. Lots of pop-culture references, even if they reference nothing, lots of great writing, and oozing with fast-paces, creative jargon.

There's the story, of course, but the book also mingles in a lot of SPAM writing,you know, the stuff we see daily like Actually, the wikipedia article seems to do it better than me. Just read that: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JPod

SLOW MAN by J.M. Coetzee

I decided that since I'm in Australia, I should read some Australian fiction. I started with the "2003 winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature."

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I HATED THIS BOOK. The premise is a 60-year old man who recently loses his leg, becoming an amputee. He then falls in love with his 40 something, Croatian nurse, who is married with 3 beautiful children. He is also harassed by an author that waltzes into his life, Elizabeth Costello. This brief intro sounded good to me, lots of intrigue, but no go on this one, folks.

Basically, I don't know what the hell to think of this book, but I have a couple of ideas of what the author wants me to think:

1) Life is slower as you age, and harder, and young people don't understand that, or respect it.

Not true, not fair, I've spent a lot of time with elderly people from weekends at the veterans home to afternoons with ex-piano teachers. I do my best to honor them and learn from them.

2) The young do not realize what they have until they are old.

Some don't. Some kids are gonna wake up at 60 and feel like their life is wasted. I'm trying to live my life by my rules, so stick it, Coetzee. Also, as my sister likes to point out, I already have the body of a 90 year old: everything cracks, I can't bowl, or play tennis, or shoot hoops, and my stomach always hurts. Of course, I will have a different view of things when I'm 60, particularly the way I view time, I'm sure. How long things take, how much time I have left, but I think about this stuff now, whatever.

3) It's not meant to teach lessons, but is just an "exemplary tale of suffering" as the book jacket says.

?!?! If I want exemplary tales of sufferings, I've got a facebook inbox full of people suffering worse than this made-up dude. Plus, he's rich.

HOW ETHICAL IS AUSTRALIA? by Peter Singer, with Tom Gregg. (not picture shown)

I just started this and it's pretty good, really good. Peter Singer is one of my favorite authors, AND, from Melbourne. So, I'll keep you posted. However, along the theme of USA! USA!, I can already confirm what I assumed: that although Australia sort of blows as a world citizen, the US can beat them every time. We always win - we're the worst! USA! USA!