How to Cuss in Australian

*Disclaimer*
This blog will include bad words.

Let me first say that I'm having serious arm troubles, serious enough that I might actually fix them this time. I'm not sure what this means right now, but probably, some sort of long-term rehabilitation. That's all you get 'cause that's all I really know at the moment. But... I am getting back to what I like best - researching things that have nothing to do with my professional life, like how nuclear power works and why it does more harm than good, how to make vegetable stock, and why Karl Urban is so freakin' sweet. Anyways, I have to take it easy on the typing, but I don't want to disappoint my faithful readers (Mom).


How to Cuss in Australian:
I don't cuss a lot except when I'm drunk, or playing in the band, or when I'm drunk AND playing in the band. Don't bring your kids to Attack Ponies shows. I guess I'm no more of an expert on cussing than anyone else, but teaching college kids gives me a bit of an advantage.

What I hear the most is the use of shit. The difference is that in the U.S. we often combine it with something else:

"This computer is a piece of shit."
"That is a bunch of shit."
"He's a real shithead."

In Australia, they just say shit:
"This computer is shit."
"That's shit."
"He's shit."

I'd say the only similar use of shit is shit itself, but just in the cussing form. For example, let's say you look into the broiler after it doesn't light, and then try to light it again, and fiery gas shoots out and burns off half your eyebrows and some of your hair, you might say SHIT!, both in the U.S. AND Australia. I don't know about the use of shit in the vernacular, but I do know that Australians would more likely say poo instead of poop.

I hear fuck a lot (especially from my students when they mess up, but that's another post, coming soon!). I also hear cunt a fair amount and I think they use that more than bitch. They're not nice words, but there you go.

I don't think I've ever heard a commandment-breaking sort of cuss or really any combination of God, damn, dammit, Jesus Christ, H., or what have you.

Ass is arse. For example, if you're watching "Blade II" and Whistler says "I built this operation, you ass-wipe!" the Australian subtitle will say "I built this operation, you arse-wipe!" Truth is, I've only seen arse on subtitles. I haven't actually heard anyone say it.

I guess that about covers it.

p.s. Australians love Hugh Jackman, lots and lots and lots and lots.