The LIBRARY is also one of a handful of inventions that make me believe in the promise of the human race. I'm serious. "Sure, you can take this book, we trust you. Just bring it back." Fantastic!
Admittedly, libraries also piss me off, a lot, but I blame this on two things: A-stupid people and B-the idiotic, bureaucratic policies that ensue because of stupid people
So,
I'm here to present THE LIBRARY AWARDS to libraries in my life: past and present.
Best library fine policy - Lenton Parr Library, Victorian College of the Arts:
THIS IS NO JOKE. This is their freakin' fine policy. I'm cutting and pasting it verbatim from the website:
Rolling Credit
- Fines are not payable until the total fines on your record reach or exceed $15.00.
- Once $15.00 is reached, all fines are payable.
- Once paid and your record cleared, the Library will offer you another $15.00 credit. This rolling credit is a goodwill gesture, and should assist those who do not consistently return items late.
Best Graduate Student item limit: University of Wisconsin-Madison
250 per semester, each item renewable for up to 6 semesters. I basically had the whole of the Henry Cowell, John Cage and Xenakis collections out of the library for three years. Yes, I once hit the 250 limit. Yes, I once recalled something from myself because I didn't realize I had it home. I told you, ADDICTED.
Best collection of travel books: City of Madison library, Central Branch.
I put this one in for Cory.
Most horrendous shelving system: Lenton Parr Library, Victorian College of the Arts
The picture below shows you the piano music collection here. It is a freakin' danger zone, Kenny Loggins. No dewey decimal, no Library of Congress, just QPJZBach300 or something, followed by QPXYLiszt410 and then maybe some KabalevskyXXX thrown in to make it sexy.
Most bizarre in-house policy: Music Library, University of Melbourne-Parkville
There are these signs in the study cubicles that say "SILENT AREA: By sitting in this study carrel you have chosen to work in a 'No Talking' Area. Please observe this and consider the people around you." There are tables near the cubicles full of students chatting about their sex lives like it's going out of style.
As far as I can tell, the policy means, "Just because you want to sit quietly in a cubicle, doesn't mean other people don't need to TALK. Consider these verbose individuals and start talking to yourself. Don't make them feel left out."
Most amazing system of frustrating bureaucratic bullshit that still gets me mad months and years after my time has been wasted: University of Wisconsin-Madison, libraries and school inclusive
I've told you about my copy card issue. Here's a tale of having to pay library fines.
Step one: Returned item late, incurred library fine
Step two: Not allowed to register until fine is paid, forced to go pay fine
Step three: Told at circulation desk that I must go to circulation office to pay fine
Step four: Told by circulation office that I must go to the 'third floor' to pay fine
Step five: Told by 'third floor' that I cannot pay fine in cash today
Step six: Upon returning to the 'third floor' with a checkbook and giving them a check, am told to take my receipt back to the circulation office to clear my account
Step seven: Circulation office clears my account and gives me a receipt printed on a machine with paper from 1964, so my receipt is a faint blue, unreadable memory of payment
Step eight: Begin the process of registration, that will inevitably be far more painful than paying a library fine. I don't think I'm ready to tell this tale.
No comments:
Post a Comment