Library Blog Addendum - Dear Reading Room, You Suck.

What better venue do I have to bitch about stuff than this lovely blog? I'll have to go back to kicking baby animals after this trip. I promise, this is my last bitchy blog. Blogs to come: my students (really!) and more Australian lingo.


While in Melbourne, I've been doing some research with the Percy Grainger Museum. Percy Grainger was an Australian composer who lived in the U.S. for sometime and helped Henry Cowell (my website guy) get out of prison. The Grainger Museum is currently closed for renovations (and has been for 5+ years). So, if I want to look at any documents, I have to place an order and the lovely Grainger Museum people bring the documents to the University of Melbourne's, [EVIL] READING ROOM.

The people in the reading room SUCK. Big time. They make me crazy. My heart has been racing since I left that place today, although I probably just need to eat lunch. Here are some of their policies:


Policy 01.008 - You can only use pencils in the reading room. Sometimes you can bring your own pencils. Sometimes you can't. We decide depending on how much fiber we've had today.

Policy 01.467 - You can look at all of the materials you ordered at the same time unless it's Tuesday and we're pissed at our kids. Then it's only two boxes at a time. In this case we will tell you that "Our policy is usually only two boxes at a time (meaning today)."

Policy 01.666 - When you finish with your boxes you must make a note when you will return on the blue form. If the old blind lady is working you have to fill out an additional pink form.

Policy 01.666.a - If you will return to view your documents within a week, you do not have to fill out the blue form. If you will return within a week, you still have to fill out the blue form. You have to write when you will return no matter what. If you are returning one day later than you said, you don't need to write it on the blue form. If you try to follow any of the above policies, we will laugh at you and tell you what the policy really is.

Policy 05.086 - If you need extra copy request forms, the front desk lady will happily oblige.
Policy 05.087 - If you need an extra orange material marker form, the front desk lady will laugh at you.
Policy 05.088 - If you ask if you should sign the triplicate copy request forms in pencil, the front desk lady will laugh at you.
Policy 05.089 - If you ask for scratch paper, the front desk lady will laugh at you.

Policy 0898 - Any documents requested from the Grainger Museum will really confuse the reading room staff. They really wish it was "archival material." "Did you order archival material?" No, Grainger Museum. "Didn't you have archival material?" No, Grainger Museum. "Hmm, I'll have to check to see if we have Grainger Museum items." I was here yesterday looking at Grainger Museum items. "We have a lot of archival material."

Policy 32978 - The front desk staff will always be very troubled by your name, staring at your ID for a minimum of 30 seconds when you hand it to them. They also have a tremendously difficult time finding your ID card at the end of your session. In their defense, at any given time there are up to 3 people (and 3 ID cards on file) in the reading room.

Policy 1000 - Pretty much everyone in the Reading Room is lucky to have a job as they are incapable of doing much other than sharpen pencils and push a remote control for the door. They work for shifts of an hour or less and are hired because of their innate ability to either A) look totally clueless, B) laugh at you, or preferably C) both.

Okay, that's it. Thanks, I feel better.